Empire State of Mind
by Darjeeling Autumnal
Summary: Every night Emma hides on top of a roof next to a dance studio to watch them dance. To watch 'her' dance...until she takes her own first steps and begins to walk or rather dance along a path that she had never thought possible for herself.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _Hey people! I don't have much to say in advance. This idea popped into my mind some time ago and I actually haven't had the intention to publish it. Maybe you'll like it. My other story **Goodbye to Yesterday** will be updated soon as well. All mistakes are mine!_

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

People express themselves in so many ways. They let their emotions out, release what is captured inside their hearts. It is what keeps them going. It is what gives them safety, what makes them strong.

As often as possible Emma Swan would stand in front of that window and watch them. This group of dancers. It was modern dance what they were performing. She had looked it up on YouTube. Two girls from her school were among the dancers, she knew them from passing them in the school corridors.

The rough autumn winds blew through the streets of New York City and urged the blonde to bury her nose deep in her scarf. The crisp air cut into her throat, but it made her feel alive.

Those dancers, young girls, maybe her age, some could be older, some could be younger. They looked so fragile and graceful, light as feathers. Their movements were as fluent as water, wild like a river streaked by the most forceful current, but also calm and balanced like an endless ocean. There was fire in every step, flaring in their eyes and they had most carefree smile.

Emma could hardly hear the music, but it was enough. The nightly traffic blarred up to her hiding spot, a flat roof of a small building next to the brick building with the room full of dancers.

She wished she was one them. She wished she could be able to join them. To learn how to move like that.

Her fingertips felt numb and she tried to move every digit to regain some feeling.

The dancers were on the ground, sitting indian style, others streching their limbs, but all of them watching the dancing instructor as she corrected seen mistakes and showed another row of steps and movements. It seemed like she was floating through the air, no effort needed, concentrated and lost in thoughts, her mind far away.

Emma tried to keep all her movements in mind, she always did that. Later at night she would try to recreate what she had seen in her room, trying not to be too loud while stumbling over her own feet.

The blonde loved to watch her. All of these dancers had their own style and looked elegant in their motion, but she had some kind of special aura around her. At least that was Emma's opinion.

Sometimes the brunette woman stayed after class, practicing on her own. Spinning, leaping, doing excises on the ballett barre and dancing whole choreograpies, putting so much emotion in them and using so much elegant force, it had brought tears to Emma's eyes and made her hold her breath.

Once she had drawn her in her sketch book during class, but pretended it to be just some random dancer.

The dancers had gathered on the ballett barre, streching their legs and feet, when the instructor finally dismissed them, praising their hard work, even hugged a few of them and guided them out, a genuine smile grazing her lips. She seemed to really care for them.

Emma tightened her jacket and decided to wait just a few more minutes. She should head home. Her homework had to be done as well as some household chores. The Blanchards were good people, whom she loved dearly. They had adopted her after being her foster family for almost 3 years. She had been with them since she was five years old. After her foster mum, Mary Margaret had found out she is pregnant, Emma had feared the worst. She had cried all night and had started to pack her tiny red backpack. It was also that night when David and Mary Margaret had asked her if she was interested in staying with them. As a real family. If Emma wanted to be a big sister and, even if they wouldn't have much money, if she was okay with them adopting her. The little blonde girl had clung to her backpack, not sure if they were being honest with her. But they had managed it until this day. There have been several low points, lots of worries but they had never given up. And none of them had ever regretted the decision they had made ten years ago.

Emma's gaze had drifted off, as well as her thoughts, and she focused back on the dancing brunette. The lights were dimmed and soft piano keys reached her ears. The dark haired dancer swirled across the room, her graceful movements flowing with a melancholic touch.

Emma got up, she couldn't sit any longer. Her legs felt frozen. She really had to go but she didn't dare to tear her gaze away. But finally she forced herself to move. She'd be back here tomorrow.

* * *

Regina came to the ground, panting and sweating. She had danced her heart out. Again. It kept her sane. She needed it like one needs air for breathing. The music had faded out, the only noise that reached her ears now was the muffled sound of the traffic. Still breathing heavily she threw a glance at the clock.

8:37 p.m.

The brunette elongated her legs and began her streching exercises, her mind at ease and her breathing getting even again.

The girls had been great today. She was so proud. Some were still hesitant, others too determined. But they all seemed to share her passion for dancing. One of them, Ruby, was on her best way to a professional carreer.

She could still remember herself when she was their age. She'd practice every night. Every single night.

Her mother's countless attempts to convince her to enter the family's company had encouraged her even more to train harder.

Eventually she made it to The Julliard School to study dance. Her dad had been so proud. He still was. He had watched every single performance of her, never missed one. Unlike her mother. Ironically she had been to one to introduce her to the art of dancing, because every upper class girl could use a decent ballett education, right?

Regina let out a soft sigh, got up and slowly made her way to the large window. The nighty sky was crystal clear, no clouds to cover the billion stars. She leaned her forehead against the cool window pane and closed her eyes. She was exhausted. Physically, of course. But also mentally. Regina Mills was a lonely woman. Sure, she had her friends, whom she loved dearly. And all her students. From children aged 3 to her girls she had just sent home.

But when she went home, there was no-one. She'd eat alone, probably watching some TV show or reading a book. Maybe catch up on the news.

Another sigh escaped her lips and she pushed herself from the window to gather her things and head home.

* * *

Emma inserted the key into the keyhole and let herself in, hoping her parents weren't mad at her for being late. Again.

She didn't want them to know where she went every night. They assumed she spent the time with friends or in the library, because she might have mentioned it once or twice.

Emma would never dare to ask them to pay for dancing lessons. They had done so much for her, she didn't want to appear presumtuous.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret's voice sounded from the kitchen, while Emma kicked her shoes off and hang her jacket on the coathook.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late. I got caught up in...some stuff for school!"

"It's alright, honey. Come get your dinner!"

Emma shuffled into the kitchen, gave her parents and brother a kiss, and slid into her seat.

"Emma, I got an A in maths today!" Henry beamed at her, all excited and bouncing in his seat.

The little boy adored his older sister from head to toe. He knew that she was adopted but never cared. He was born into that family and Emma has always been there. She'd always be his big sister, no matter what.

"Really?! You really kinda get this stuff, don't you? I'm proud of you, Henry!" Emma gave him a smile while taking the plate Mary Margaret offered her with a small "Thanks, Mum!"

Dinner went as smooth as always with Henry telling everyone about his day at school, David telling stories from the animal shelter and Mary Margaret sharing witty anekdotes from elemantary school. Emma kept silent for most of the time, answering a few questions here and there and staring into the small dancing flame of the tealight in the middle of the table.

After helping her parents to do the dishes she excused herself to do her homework and to get an early goodnight sleep.

Emma had this thing with candles. Every night she'd illuminate a few to place them in her room, while trying to remember the steps the brunette dance instructor had shown to her group.

So Emma Swan stood next to her bed - the small candles throwing quavering shadows over her tense form - trying to recreate the fluent motion she had seen while gazing out of her window at the nighty sky and its billion stars.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N:_** _Hey you guys! It's been a while...I know. Lots of things going on. Here's chapter 2! Thanks for waiting!_

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

The next day Emma found herself in her hiding spot once again. She was early though, so the group hadn't started their class yet. Instead Emma watched how the brunette tought a choreography to group of kids, mostly young girls aged 12 to 15.

The sun hadn't set yet but it was cold nonetheless. Emma had brought a cup of hot cocoa to go with her and now had her fingers closed around it to warm them up.

Today in school she had seen Ruby and Belle, the two dancing here within the group. She had been almost about to talk to them about their dancing classes. It wasn't a secret they danced, so it wouldn't have seemed too weird if Emma had asked them. But the blonde didn't really know them at all. They were the same age, the same grade and all. But she wasn't their league. At least that's what she told herself.

Inside the brick building the brunette sat on the ground watching all her small students perform the choreography they'd just learned in groups of three. After every succesfull performance the kids would gather next to their teacher, hugging her and trying to sit as close to her as possible all the while watching the next group going their dance.

Emma felt lost. Not for any particular reason. She had felt this way ever since she could remember. It wasn't like she didn't feel loved. Her parents were doing her best, no doubt. And she had true friends...maybe not many but at least they were real friends. But this feeling of being on edge, of not being able to let her emotions out. She couldn't explain.

Emma took a sip of her cocoa and curled her toes inside her boots.

As time went on the kids left the class and the the older ones arrived one by one, Ruby and Belle among them. They did their warm ups and soon they were in the thick of working on a new choreography. Some elements similar to a few the blonde had seen the brunette practice the night before.

Time passed quickly and so the end was nearing. Emma had stood by the window and had not moved an inch since her arrival. The more it took her by surprise when the brunette moved to stand with her back to the large glass front to watch her students steps from another perspective. Emma accidentally dropped her half full cup of meanwhile cold liquid which spilled all over her backpack.

"Shit!" Cursing, she bent down to inspect the damage not realizing that this small misfortune had caused more noise than she had actually intended.

The brunette whirled around, startled from an unfamiliar noise outside, and her gaze caught a blonde girl, panic written over the pale face. They held eyecontact for what felt like two heartbeats, before the blonde grabbed her bag and rushed of to vanish in the dark.

Regina opened her mouth just to close it again in an instant. That was weird.

"Regina, you alright?" Ruby and the others had stopped while the music went on, everyone's eyes on their instructor.

"Yes...I'm fine, don't you worry. I'm sorry."

They started from the top for the last time for this night, then Regina sent them home.

That little incident with that blonde girl didn't leave her thoughts. Although it wasn't the first time somebody had watched them during their training session, that look on the blondes face was stuck in her mind. Almost fearful, like getting caught watching was a sin.

She remembered when she was a young girl. She'd always watch others dance. No matter where. Once there had been this couple in the streets. It was a hot summer night and they were dancing Tango Argentino like nobody was watching. At that time Regina had blushed, not remembering a single thing that had seemed so erotic and desperate at the same time.

Now she'd dance like this herself from time to time. The brunette sighed. Life was exausting somehow. And she felt bad for thinking this way, considering the fact that she – more or less – had almost always been on the bright side. She never had to suffer from hunger or never had to fear for not having a roof over her head.

That's what she told herself. One should always relativize.

Tonight she wouldn't stay longer. Her friend Kathryn had convinced her to go out for a glass or two.

* * *

Emma ran. She bumped into several people, muttering some apologies, but didn't look back. She feared that she couldn't go back there. Like ever. Probably the brunette thought she was some kind of weird stalker, ogling those girls.

When Emma slowed down, she hadn't even paid attention to where she was running. When she finally came to a halt, panting heavily, she dropped her bag and brushed her hand through her golden locks.

"Damn..." Emma muttered, feeling utterly stupid for running like a five-year-old who stole someone's candy. She didn't do anything wrong, but she felt...exposed. This had been her hiding spot. No-one was supposed to find her there. The brunette hadn't even said anything. Even so...

Could she go back? Maybe not tomorrow – she sould let a few days go by.

She checked her phone, not really in the mood to go home, but also knowing that she had to. Sooner or later. It wasn't that she didn't like being at home. No, she loved it. But she cherished her time alone.

But maybe she should actually stop at the library and take a book. To convince her mother that she had been there.

That she did and finally sat in the subway on her way home. Mary Margaret always told her to not use the metro this late and rather call so someone could pick her up. Sometimes she even did. But other times she just wanted peace and silence.

She tightened her scarf and let her gaze wander. There were always the most different and interesting people on the subway. Emma loved to watch them, making up little stories about how their life could possibly be.

Her head restet against the window, outside her surroundings were just a blurr of grey and black.

* * *

Regina leaned back in her chair, taking her wine glass with her as she listened to Kathryn telling her stories of the latest auditions at the school where she teached.

The blonde had offered Regina a teaching position more times than she could count on one hand but the brunette had always declined.

Although Regina loved teaching she couldn't stand the thought of being pressured by authorities. She had her own methods. Of course she was strict. But also caring and loving. Everyone had their own style of dancing, even when they all danced the same choreography. It was what made each one of her students unique. It was the same old story with all these professional dancers out there. They all run through the same hard education which makes them perfect in their technique, but leaves no personal touch. Sure, the education she provided in her groups was like pre-school for dancers. Eventually they would go to schools like The Julliard. She just hoped that they wouldn't forget what she tried to give them.

While Kathryn went on with the talking her eyes scanned the classy bar. The furniture was held in dark colors which gave the room a kind of cozy ambiente. The lights were dimmed, although not too much. Each table war illuminated by a single candle, which threw dancing shadows over the faces of the people, who were engrossed in private conversations, focused on eating and nursing their drinks. The wall behind the bar was mirrored and the shelves stocked with differently shaped bottles of expensive liquids.

Regina's eyes wandered over the the tables but her thoughts soon drifted back to the blonde girl on the roof next to the window of dancing hall. Why had that girl been out there in the cold? She clearly had been watching them and when she had gotten caught she had been terrified. Panic had been written all over that pretty face. She had looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It wasn't uncommon that people came by to just watch, but usually they came inside and just asked if it was alright. Mostly they were parents with their children who seemed to be interested in dancing and thought about joining the class.

"Regina, are you listening?" Katherine watched her with a raised eyebrow and took a sip from her glass of wine.

"Uhm...yes?" Regina replied, biting her lower lip to prevent herself from grinning.

"I'm sorry, it's just...It's been a weird day. What were you saying?"

"I was trying to convince you to apply for the vacant position as a dance instructor at our school. Again." The blonde sighed and gave Regina a little smile.

"It's paid better-"

"You know that money isn't an issue." Regina answered and gave her friend a pointed look. It was no secret that the Mills family was well off and that her father had always taken care of the fact that the brunette's income was secured. It was nothing she war particularly proud of. But it was what it was.

Katherine sighed and watched the blood red liquid swirl around in her glass.

"Do you even know what you want?" She finally asked, rolled her eyes and shot her friend an expecting look. It was a casual question. Therefore, it surprised and concerned her even more when Regina answered with a sigh:

"No. I don't think I do...not anymore."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hellooooo everyone, who's still with this one. Next chapter. Thanks for your patience. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy! :)_

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

The weekend had been slow. Not in a bad way though. Emma had spent time with her family, still trying to forget about that embarrassing incident on Friday night at the dance school. The blonde still wasn't sure if she could go back. Well, of course she could...she just had to be more careful or find another hiding spot. A sigh escaped her lips as she sat on the couch next to Henry who was watching a movie. It was Sunday in the evening and therefore tomorrow would be Monday and the brunette's group would train again.

"Emma, honey, are you alright?" Mary Margaret asked while she chopped some vegetables in preparation for dinner. The girl had seemed to be deep in thought over the weekend and the pixie haired brunette was eager to find out what was bothering her daughter.

"What?" Emma asked, taken by surprise and her cheeks instantly blushing.

"You seemed to be deep in thought. Is everything okay?" The brunette asked and gave her daughter a caring smile.

"Yeah, I was just..." Emma stopped mid-sentence, considering to actually ask her mother about joining the dance class. In that moment the telephone began to ring and Mary Margaret reached for the device.

"It's you father! Sorry, Em, I'll be right back." And with that the pixie haired woman answered the phone. Emma slummed back into the cushions of the couch and fixed her gaze on the TV.

The call just took few minutes and Mary Margaret returned to the kitchen with sad look upon her face.

"What happened?" Emma immediately sat up straight and watched her mother with concerned eyes.

"The car broke down." An exhausted sigh escaped her lips before she continued.

"It won't be as easily fixed as the last time. If it's even possible it will cost a pretty penny. Just when I thought..." She stopped right there, not wanting her kids to know that money was a bit of an issue for a few weeks now.

"Well..." Mary Margaret smiled and tried to reassure herself.

"At least nobody got hurt, right?" Another sigh escaped her lips before she returned to preparing dinner. At that moment Emma decided that she wouldn't ask. Her parents had enough to deal with at the moment. That the car broke down was bad enough. David needed the vehicle for work as well as for dropping Mary Margaret and Henry off for school. Emma tended to take the trains to go everywhere she needed to be.

David returned after dinner, looking awfully tired. Henry was already in bed and Emma was in her room as well in the process of burning her candles, the door unintentionally left ajar. When she went to close it snippets of her parent's conversation reached her ears.

"How much will it be, David?"

"It depends...between 800 and 900 $." David sighed.

"Maybe we can talk to the landlord again. Convince him to rethink his decision concerning the raise of the rent." Mary Margaret reasoned and that was the moment when Emma silently closed the door.

Why hadn't they said anything?

Emma dropped onto her bed to lie on her back, facing the ceiling and watching the light dance. She didn't know how much time had passed before she finally fell asleep.

The next morning Emma sat quietly at the breakfast table, avoiding her mother's inquisitive gaze. After eating a toast and drinking a cup of coffee the blonde said goodbye to Henry and her parents and vanished into streets of New York to get to school.

Her classes rolled by and during her lunch break she sat not too far from Ruby and Belle, who were talking about a creep who was watching them during their dance classes. Emma hung her head in embarrassment fixed her eyes onto her food tray.

That day she didn't go to the dance studio. The same pertained for Tuesday and Wednesday. Instead of practicing the dance moves she remembered the blonde took time to actually read the books she had borrowed from the library. But her thoughts always drifted back to the brunette dancer. The way she moved, the way she taught her students and the way she danced all by herself when everyone would be long gone home.

It was Wednesday evening when the blonde stood by her window and looked out into the night. Her parents still hadn't lost a word about the money issue and it was starting to bother her. She wasn't a child anymore one needed to protect from the world.

On Thursday she went to school as usual. It was rather frosty and the sun hadn't risen yet. Walking trough the autumn leaves Emma felt sad and lost. And it was then, on her way to the subway, that she decided to go back. What did she have to lose?

* * *

Regina sat on the floor in the dance studio, stretching her legs and warming up. Soon the kids would arrive for their class before later the older ones had their turn. Soft music was playing in the background and the brunette's thoughts again drifted back to the terrified girl. The blonde hadn't come back. Regina couldn't even explain to herself why the image of the girl's face didn't leave her thoughts. There had been this look in her eyes...she couldn't remember their color. But it had been too dark anyway to actually recognize if they had been green or blue. She had looked so – she couldn't find the right words to describe the blonde's expression. Desperate? Longing? Sad? Maybe lost?

Regina was ripped from her thoughts when the first children stepped into the room and greeted her, before they went on to change into their dancing attire. Soon the class was complete and they started to warm up together as a group to prevent potential injuries. Then they immersed in their choreography and Regina corrected them here and there; walked through the room to watch them from different angles and ended up at the window front again. And it was then when her eyes caught bit of blonde hair peeking out from under a black woolen beanie. Her head whipped completely around and her hand rested against the window pane as she tried to make out the blondes face in the weak shimmer of light that came from the illuminated dance studio and a nearby street lamp. Their eyes locked and the girl stood as still as a salt statue, stopped in the middle of grabbing her bag. The blonde finally bit her lower lip, probably feeling more than uncomfortable for being caught watching again, but her gaze didn't waver. Finally Regina gave her a small smile before turning around again to focus on her students once more.

* * *

Emma's heart felt like it would jump out of her chest any second. But she still stood rooted to the spot and tried to even out her breathing. The brunette had seen her and...had smiled. She hadn't seemed angry as Emma had anticipated. Not at all. With a relieved smile the blonde dropped down, next to her bag. She wouldn't run this time. She would stay just a little bit longer.

* * *

When Regina finally had said her goodbyes to Ruby, Belle and the rest of her girls she carefully walked back to the window front to see if the blonde was still out there. But the girl was gone and nothing greeted her but the cold night and the New York traffic. She rested her forehead against the glass and let out a small laugh. What had she expected?

Shaking her head she pushed herself away from the window front and started the music again. As the first notes reached her ears the brunette closed her eyes and slowly began to move. Small movements, nothing big and fancy. The piano keys flowed like water through the air and she followed them, feeling the music washing over her like a light summer rain.

* * *

Emma had left as soon as Ruby, Belle and the rest of them had done their last step of the choreography. Running through the streets to the next subway station she felt free. It was silly, really. But she couldn't help it. Each time she closed her eyes she would see the brunette smile at her. The cold night air hit her straight in the face as she rounded a corner and the blonde stopped to just breath in. Lifting her face towards the sky she closed her eyes and smiled, for a single moment forgetting about the city noises, the people passing by and all her troubles.

When she finally arrived at home Emma silently opened the door only to be greeted with a worried looking Mary Margaret.

"Where have you been?" The petite brunette asked and hurried towards her daughter.

"I uhm..." She hadn't even brought new books from the library. Emma stole a glance towards the clock and realized how late it actually had gotten.

"I tried to call you a dozen times!" Mary Margaret argued and placed both her palms on each side of Emma's face.

"Uhm..."

"You know, we don't have a problem with you staying out late. You're old enough, sweetheart. Just call, alright? We've been worried sick! Besides...your brother is not feeling well..." A worried look crossed the brunette's face.

"What's wrong?" Emma immediately straightened her back and gave her mother a concerned look.

"He's got a fever. He's been throwing up the whole afternoon. Your father had to pick him up from school earlier and since then he's lying in bed." A sigh escaped Mary Margaret's lips, before she ruffled her hair and forced a smile onto her lips.

Henry finally fell asleep at 3 am. They had almost called an ambulance but then the fever finally had subsided. It's been a hell of a night for Emma's parents and the blonde herself hadn't gotten much sleep.

The next day Emma dragged herself out of bed, completely overtired. She went through her morning routine like a robot, still feeling half asleep. It was still dark outside, a fact that made waking up not exactly a lot easier. Mary Margaret set a cup of coffee in front of her contrary to her usual cup of hot cocoa, which the blonde accepted with utter gratitude. The pixie haired woman filled her daughter in on Henry's state and that David would stay at home with the sick boy for the day.

On her way to school Emma almost fell asleep standing. It took two more cups of coffee to finally set her in a state of being responsive. She even debated with herself if she should skip "dance spying" for today. But then the brunette's smile came back to her mind and Emma found herself grinning into her cup of coffee. No, she wouldn't skip. It was her everyday highlight, something she looked forward to every single day.

So that night she found herself in her usual hiding spot on top of the roof of the small building next to the dance studio. It was a bit later than the day before and the kids group was almost done. Shivering, the blonde let out a shaky puff of air and rubbed her palms against each other. It was Friday night and the streets were as busy as every night. Cars honking, people yelling and laughing, noise everywhere. Well, she lived in New York, the city that never sleeps. So nothing new here.

And then there was the faint soft music that reached her ears through the window front and Emma hid in the shadows to peek inside. The kids were just saying their goodbyes, some of them hugging their dance instructor, while others just gave a wave or a handshake. The brunette just released a small light brown haired girl from her arms when her dark eyes scanned the window front and finally connected with Emma's own green orbs. The blonde's heart skipped a beat and her breath got caught in her throat when she saw that smile again. That smile that hadn't left her thoughts since she first saw it directed towards her the day before. The blonde shyly smiled back combined with a tiny wave before her nervousness got the best of her and she stepped away from the window to release the breath she's been holding in. A smile formed on her lips again and she closed her her eyes for moment. Her heart was racing when she stepped to the glass front to peek inside again, but the brunette was nowhere to be seen. There were just Ruby and Belle and the rest of their group, already doing their warm up and stretching exercises. Emma's furrowed in confusion when she scanned the room for the beautiful dancer but didn't see her anywhere.

"Hey! Hey you!"

At first Emma didn't notice the words were directed at her, so she paid them no mind.

"Hey! Shy girl on top of the roof! I'm talking to you! Are you still there?" It was then that Emma registered the smooth, deep and raspy voice and her eyes widened in shock. What was she supposed to do? Hide and pretend she wasn't there anymore?

"Look, I feel like an idiot talking to myself. Show yourself or I'm going back inside. It's freezing out here!"

With tentative steps the blonde approached the edge of the roof dared to glance downwards.

"Hello..." The brunette had her hands buried deep inside of the pockets of her black coat. Her had was tilted back and she squinted against the light of the street lamp to make out the blonde's face.

"H-Hi..." Emma hesitantly answered and hugged herself against the cold.

"What's your name?" The dark haired dancer asked and her head whipped around as a taxi honked combined with its driver throwing some explicit curse words out of the window because another car blocked his way, before her gaze again focused on the blonde girl on the roof.

"Swan. Emma Swan."

"Well then, Swan-Emma-Swan, why don't you come down from there and follow me inside? Guess it's a bit warmer...and the view might be a bit better in fact."


End file.
